...This port is really not as advertised.

Does anyone know where I can find a stuffed giraffe and a patrtially deflated soccer ball?

[video clicks on to show a friendly-looking teenager smiling at the camera]

...I have to say, when I signed on for this thing, I kind of expected to see some kind of soulless ship cabin that I'd have to put posters all over or something. Not, you know. My bedroom. Not that I'm complaining or anything! I like having my bedroom, and not having to share a bathroom with Milagro, and...

I'm pretty sure no one needs to know any of this. Sorry.

I'm Jaime Reyes—I'm going to be a warden here. Anyone know what's for dinner tonight?

[video clicks off, then immediately clicks on again, though Jaime is not looking at the camera]

What?  No.  Of course I didn't ask about Cinnabon.

...

Because there is no Cinnabon here.  This isn't a vacation.

...

Sometimes, we have to go places without Cinnabon.  It's one of the sacrifices we make for the greater good.

...

Look, this is not a discussion.  There will be cinnamon rolls if God wills it, okay?

...

It's not fatalistic, it's realistic, and--

[video clicks off again]