beetleboyblue | [001] Take me to your Cinnabon

[video clicks on to show a friendly-looking teenager smiling at the camera]

...I have to say, when I signed on for this thing, I kind of expected to see some kind of soulless ship cabin that I'd have to put posters all over or something. Not, you know. My bedroom. Not that I'm complaining or anything! I like having my bedroom, and not having to share a bathroom with Milagro, and...

I'm pretty sure no one needs to know any of this. Sorry.

I'm Jaime Reyes—I'm going to be a warden here. Anyone know what's for dinner tonight?

[video clicks off, then immediately clicks on again, though Jaime is not looking at the camera]

What? No. Of course I didn't ask about Cinnabon.

...

Because there is no Cinnabon here. This isn't a vacation.

...

Sometimes, we have to go places without Cinnabon. It's one of the sacrifices we make for the greater good.

...

Look, this is not a discussion. There will be cinnamon rolls if God wills it, okay?

...

It's not fatalistic, it's realistic, and--

[video clicks off again]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh... It's... kind of a computer... thing.

So is Tetris. That is the most meaningless answer ever.

Okay, well, he's a lot more high-tech than Tetris. And almost every other system out there.

Aaaand 'he' has a gender?

[bland, bland look.] Well, yeah. Of course he does.

Oooookay.

I hope you recognize that to the casual observer you sound kinda crazy. Is this one of those situations where everybody in your world has a chip implanted in their brain or something?

[Although she suspects not, because she notices how easily you fell into bantering with Cap'n Paranoid up there.]

[Aaaaand he looks a little embarrassed.]

Yeah, I've been made aware. Honestly, though--I'm not crazy. Even though that's what pretty much every crazy person says.

And no. My world's... pretty normal. Well, normal to me, which... I guess maybe isn't normal to everyone. No chips in people's heads, though. [Mostly.]

Just you and 'him', huh. [There may have been fingerquotes around 'him'.] Well, with the roster here being what it is, that's not gonna register as being all that unusual to anybody. Nobody who's been here longer than a couple weeks, anyway.

I'm sure you're not mocking the fact that my little computer-friend has a gender. That's just politically incorrect. And it might hurt his feelings.

So what kind of crew do we have around here?

[She shrugs.] Aliens, robots, vampires, the undead...you name it, pretty much. The Admiral's hiring policy isn't what I'd call exclusive.

[Aliens, robots: par for the course. Vampires: not entirely unheard of...]

...Did you say undead? Like zombies?

Well, not like, feed me your delicious brains but walking around with no pulse while not being a vampire? Sure.

Oh, and we ran into the delicious-brains kind at a port one time.

...Huh. That's... well, I'm glad, because I really like my brain where it is, and not in something's digestive tract. I'm pretty sure stomach acid isn't good for critical thought.

Yeah... I heard that. Sounds like this Admiral guy is kind of a lunatic.

Yeah, no, 'kind of a lunatic' is pretty much a compliment as far as the Admiral goes.

...Well, I guess that means I'm not likely to get bored. Who wants down time anyway?

You'd actually be surprised how often the whole 'blah blah blah nobody's endangered my life or sanity for a few days, I'm bored' song and dance gets played out here.

...See, I usually count days where there is a lack of life-endangering and insanity as "good days."

Great. It'll probably take you a few months longer than the average newbie to go crazy.

Heh. Lucky me, then.

[001] Take me to your Cinnabon

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