beetleboyblue | [001] Take me to your Cinnabon

[video clicks on to show a friendly-looking teenager smiling at the camera]

...I have to say, when I signed on for this thing, I kind of expected to see some kind of soulless ship cabin that I'd have to put posters all over or something. Not, you know. My bedroom. Not that I'm complaining or anything! I like having my bedroom, and not having to share a bathroom with Milagro, and...

I'm pretty sure no one needs to know any of this. Sorry.

I'm Jaime Reyes—I'm going to be a warden here. Anyone know what's for dinner tonight?

[video clicks off, then immediately clicks on again, though Jaime is not looking at the camera]

What? No. Of course I didn't ask about Cinnabon.

...

Because there is no Cinnabon here. This isn't a vacation.

...

Sometimes, we have to go places without Cinnabon. It's one of the sacrifices we make for the greater good.

...

Look, this is not a discussion. There will be cinnamon rolls if God wills it, okay?

...

It's not fatalistic, it's realistic, and--

[video clicks off again]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A mutiny, huh? Given the setting, there's a bit of irony there, don't you think?

It's nice to meet you too. Where are you from?

[laugh] Maybe a little. I prefer to think of it as appropriate to the setting, though. I'm thinking I might try to get into Gilbert and Sullivan too, while I'm here. You know, HMS Pinafore, Pirates of Penzance. Lots of naval tunes.

Or maybe I'll just learn some sea shanties.

El Paso--how about you?

This place could do with some musical theater and sea shanties. ...Especially at the moment. Things are little weird right now, but--frankly, it's pretty rare for things not to be weird on the Barge.

Ahh. I'm an East Coast girl--Pennsylvania.

...You know, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement, right?

...

[He shakes his head distractedly and gives her a little grin.]

Yeah? I've spent some time on the west coast, but not so much on the east.

Yeah, unfortunately most of the welcome wagons around here do have to include the inevitable "the Admiral would make an excellent snake oil salesman" talk. I mean, don't get me wrong--I've been here for... almost two years, so it's clearly not all bad. But has anyone mentioned floods or ports yet?

[Also. Wut. You are confusing, sir.]

...Everything okay there?

[Maybe we're blushing again. Maybe Khaji Da is commenting on that.]

Yeah--fine. Just... [Don't mention hearing voices.] thinking that probably my life isn't exactly normal anyway, so what am I complaining about?

Floods and ports? [LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT.]

[Stop blushing, it's too adorable. She'll want to pinch your cheeks. But the subject change works.]

They happen fairly regularly around here. Floods are... not really floods the way you think of them; there's no water involved. It's more like--magical energy, I guess. The mechanics kind of escape me, but generally the place rumbles, the Admiral announces we're taking on water--even though it's... not water--and then weird stuff happens. ...For instance, my very first flood turned me into a boy. There have been a few where people become animals, where they become kids or old people or both, um... They're pretty unpredictable in terms of when they happen and what happens.

And ports are what they sound like--the Admiral docks the Barge somewhere for a few days and we get off expecting a little shore leave and find ourselves in Jurassic Park, or on a zombie planet or locked in a haunted house. Although we have had a few normal ports--Salem and Germany come to mind.

I'm pretty sure that none of that was in the brochure. Maybe I should change my evaluation from Ghost Ship to Voyage of the Damned.

But Salem sounds cool. Especially this time of year--maybe we can hope for a return trip.

Yeah, that fine print can be a real kick in the teeth. It's not always so bad, though? ...Not that you'd necessarily believe me if you looked out your door, because it does look kind of Ghost Ship-like these days. But it's really normally less... rusty.

Yeah, that's what I hear. How long have things been like this?

A few weeks now, I'd say. I mean, the doors locking randomly has been going on a little longer, but the sense of "this place is falling apart around us"? That's newer.

And it's never happened before?

Not anything quite like this, no. I mean... this one time, Aztec gods kind of took over and decorated the place like, well, an Aztec pyramid. But that was all at once and not... gradual rotting.

...I'm really hoping the gradual rotting doesn't mean this thing is about to fall apart. I mean--I just got here!

I don't think it's actually rotting or falling apart? But I've been called an optimist.

Well, I'm going with "we're safe unless we see giant gaping holes." But I might be an optimist, too.

Hey, this place can use more of us. Be prepared to face skepticism and scorn, though. Optimism and cheerfulness is generally met with sarcasm and eye rolling around here. ...Or, you know. Worse.

So... not much different than people back home, then. I have a friend that's pretty good at the sarcasm and eyerolling--affectionately, though.

Well, you know. It is a prison ship. The sarcasm tends to be less affectionate. ...Although there's plenty of that, too.

Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a thick skin.

...

Or armor.

Armor might be a little heavy to carry around with you all the time.

[grin] Guess I'll have to work on my upper body strength, then.

Well, there is an impressive gym, with quite the weight lifting selection. And popular punching bags. ...And a boxing ring now, actually. I also give archery lessons, and that's pretty good for that, too.